Untitled.

Go Away.
I know what's coming; I don't want to suffer anymore humiliation.

Roll your eyes and mock at my stupidity.
Oh, don't forget to type, 'I understand how you feel' at the tagboard.
"Yeah, she will be so touched."
"She will leap for the little sentences of concern you flung at her, watch her lap it up like a dog."
"She just upset, just let her blab."
"It's always about a person, a person that just came into her life."
"And when another turn up, she will get over it."
"Wait till this one ignores her again, she will go beserk once more."

I just want to say it out.
I don't need anyone to hear it.
Go on, with your wonderful life people.
Find people who are more interesting.
Listen to more amusing topics.
Not utter idiocity like this one.

Yeah, I place out all information about me like damaged goods strewn out for sale; hoping someone will accept all of them.
But look at the crowd's reaction.
Watch as they roar at this clown's antics.
Then rub humiliation into her face.
Nevermind, that she's tattered and torn.
She still stands by the road side waiting for love.

Go on, give her some hope.
She's demented.
But she will go all out for you.
Give you everything you wanted, anything she can offer.

There's something missing in my life.
They told me that a boyfriend will do the trick.
"Your hugs are the solace I need."
"Your kisses are the sweetest things I eat."

So the jigsaw missing in the puzzle of my life is him.
I braved the humiliation.
Nevermind how they stab at my heart.
I tell everything about me to everyone.
They say, "If you don't open your heart, how are they to know how you really feel?"
So I did.
Stab.
So I did.
Stab.
Since I feel the pain, perhaps these tears are the blood that gush out from my wounds.
Stab.

Stab at me.
For 2 years, I have been foolishly struggling to realise this resolution.
"No more."
"I'm tired."
I always say that.
But they never end.
So I will scream, "life sucks!"
"Let me die!" I pleaded.

"Just get her a guy, anyone."
"She never had boyfriend before, just one that say all those sweet nothings like how everybody else's did."
Bimbotic stuff that a bimbo needs.

Today, no, on many occasions, I knew that it takes more than a boyfriend to fill up this void.
But I decided to satisfy this enormous craving, with something I thought would be the easiest to get.
Every girl got one, so I will get one too right?
"It's just a matter of time."

Time showed me something else.
"Why do you have such a low self esteem?"
I am officially not desperate anymore.
Haha.
I was desperate.
I can tell you blantantly, see?
Condescend me.
It's okay.
For I got used of being laughed at.

Here's a bonus: Everytime when I pray for something, I will always agree to sacrifice something in order to obtain what I desired.
I gave up teenage romance for my studies.
I believe love will come as a thing on its own.
A thing that I truely deserved.

I guess I have to sort out more in my life.
Right now, all I need is a cave to hide myself in till the dawn of my new life arrive.
Worthy or not, it's up to you to join me in my new life or not.
I have no hopes for anyone now.

Goodbye.
Goodbye.